wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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