Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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