I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
