ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
