Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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