God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
