The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
