His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
