Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
