I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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