I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
