Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
