She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
