I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
