we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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