PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
