why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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