The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
