why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
