Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
