Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
