haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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