Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
