I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who died my cat blue again?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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