What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
