So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have feelings that need drinking.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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