my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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