I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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