The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
