He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
