have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
try to milk me bitch
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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