Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
