Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
