i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
