I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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