i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
