I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
