All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
