Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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