$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
