I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
