Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
