I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
from now on my penis is your penis
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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