we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
