Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
