Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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