I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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