i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
