just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
