It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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