Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
